Blog Post

The Leaking Believer

The Word

Proverbs 24:10

10 If you faint in the day of adversity, your strength is small.

The Message

In recent times, I have done a revaluation of the activities of my life. I needed to streamline them so they could deliver the results I want from life at this time. Sometimes we tend to live in the successes of the past. However, we need to periodically go back to the drawing board, see what you need to adjust, to get you to your desired destination._MG_0444-1

One of the things I realized I need to pay more attention to is my prayer life. I needed to make it more structured and compulsory. I pray because I am a believer. However I had a yoyo pattern. Sometimes I would pray intensely for months, and then I would relax. I felt the Lord pulling me to a more conscientious pattern of prayer. I began to see it as my life line. So like breathing, I have to intentionally make time for it every day. It has been a blast.

The most important benefit of prayer for me at this time is not necessarily answered prayer. I have learnt that some prayer points are prayer ‘projects’. So they take their time to manifest. So it has been more of getting fortified with spiritual strength. It seems to be the foundation on which I can really build the future I desire. Faith is built on it. The ability to fulfil God’s will for my life is predicated on my level of spiritual might which can only be built on prayer. That is why the Bible says we should pray without ceasing. It’s the only way to build the strength required to carry through.

However, I seemed to have a problem with my process. I would pray and feel His strength infuse my spirit, then something would happen and I would suddenly feel a sinking in the same spirit. Let me give some examples.

If you are married, you know how upsetting an argument with your other half can be. An argument with Iyke would normally mean the end of that day. It would feel like the sun never shines. I am incapable of doing anything that day. It is not even a function of who is right or wrong but the fact that their was a disagreement. I had one or two of those in the recent past and I struggled with moving back into normal mode. I eventually had to, but it took a while longer than I think it should have.

A few days later, I had another experience. I had tried to register my business with an oil company but required certain registrations with the Department of Petroleum Resources. One of their requirements was my tax clearance. I did not have a problem with that. I did not realise that I would have to pay defaulters fines simply because I registered the business a while back. It did not matter that I did not actually do any business. I got a text that morning telling me that I had a bill of over N200,000. I suddenly felt that deflating feeling in my spirit again. I am trying so hard to get business going and all I get is trouble all around.

This time it was the Holy Spirit Himself that rebuked me. ‘Chinwe, you leak too much. You leak all the time. You spend every morning building up strength and capacity with me, but anything that comes your way, you allow it all to leak out and have to start all over again. Stop leaking and get on with it’.  I shook myself out of the deflating mode, stopped the leak, apologised to Him and got back into my day. I finished well.

I have come to fully appreciate that every victory in life is shrouded in lots of adversity. All my desires and dreams will be birthed under adverse conditions. Adversity is life. Adversity will never go away. It will keep showing up everywhere I have a desire, a dream or an expectation. That is why I need strength. That is why I must pray.

Even more important is the fact that I must understand how these things work and respond appropriately. I must understand that the devil is constantly putting holes in my tank of strength with all manner of adverse situations, with the intention that I should leak of all the Lord has infused me with. That is what we call discouragement. We think we can just encourage ourselves and move on. That is not the way it works. We must understand that we actually leak of what sustains us and have to go back to refill our tanks all over again. The next time we pray, rather than increasing our level of strength, we need to refill afresh. That is such a waste of spiritual resource.

After that rebuke, I have adjusted my response-to-adversity mode. I am quick to recognize what is at work and move on quickly. I dust myself and keep going. There must be a constant, not looking at those situations and pressing into the plans God has for us.

I know that Christian maturity is personal. I also know that God increases our levels of giants as we grow in Him. I must say, this level has been very challenging for me. I have great promises but getting myself in God to the place where I can translate them to flesh has been tough learning. I am excited though, because this is one area the enemy has used for a while now. It has created a lot of distractions for me and I am just getting the knack of it. I am truly grateful to God for enabling me to see it clearly enough to put structures in place to deal with it.

Per chance you have the same struggles I had, this is just to encourage you to shine your eyes to the workings of the enemy against you and prop yourself up in the Lord. He can only equip us to press into His promises, victories and triumphs. The good thing is that if can, we will get the promises. It is guaranteed. Please don’t allow yourself to leak. I have put stops on my leaks. I simply bless the Lord. Have a great week. Ck